Monday, December 19, 2005

Gothic Personals

I think everyone should look at the Gothic personals page that I found. I think it's hilarious:

Welcome to the largest and most successful dating site for Gothic friends and singles in the world!

Do you live the Gothic lifestyle? Do you wish there was a place where you could make new friends, chat, or hook up with other members of the gothic community?

GothicMatch was set up to help those in the Gothic lifestyle find each other. Whether in your local community or around the world.

Join GothicMatch to find someone to share your interests, your problems, your music and your spirit or even the perfect darkchylde to bring back to your lair. It's free to join the hundreds of thousands who have already made this dark little corner of the net their home. Never be alone in the dark again.

And for something completely different: A little article about how string theory is a steaming turd according to Nobel Laureate David Gross. I always take satisfaction when scientists admit that their theories are really just bullshitathons. Let's just give up on teaching in school any kind of science that you can't prove experimentally.

28 comments:

Spinning Girl said...

I hope they have a dating page for Visigoths; I always feel so alone in the world.

I disagree with your second point; I think it's important to encourage the theoretical aspect of science. But I have to go do that now, so I can't debate you about it anymore. I have a generation to brainwash.

jamwall said...

that special someone who'll carve their name in my ass and take a crap on my face..

Ɯbermilf said...

I wonder if they have speed-dating for goths?

Tumbleweed said...

What's a Goth? I live in Kansas for goodness sake. The Mennonites are the only ones in all black. We do have a small member, talented tongue society for you over here Jiggs.

I love to experiment! Oh, Science...damn I suck at sticking to the topic!

Brookelina said...

I have a tattoo and pierced ears - I'm in! I'm signing up right away. This site is awesome.

http://www.gothicmatch.com/user_details?user=Discipled
This may be the man for me. Any guy that posts his mugshot is alright in my book.

miss kendra said...

are goths allowed to use computers?

i thought they had to cry and paint with their own blood all day.

jiggs said...

SG: I dated a visigoth once. She loved to eat raw meat. If you catch my drift. i.e. uncooked pork if you catch my drift. In other words, she died of trichinosis.

and bah on theoretical science. Call me when they find some dark matter.

jamwall: I'll be your special someone.

milf: Hi, my name's deathwatch. I like KFMDM, sacrifice and ponies.

tumbleweed: there was a point in my life in which I looked like a mennonite. Now I just look like a dork.

A small member, talented tongue society? What's it called?

brooke: He seems nice enough. I bet you love him. YOU LOVE HIM! I'm not exactly sure why, but I was amused by his favorite movies:

Masterpiece Theatre Series,
Edward Scissorhands (for born misfits like me),
anything that provokes critical thinking and questions the direction humanity is taking,
among others...



miss k: they're allowed to use computers if it furthers their goals of crying and painting in their own blood.

Tumbleweed said...

It's called the League of Women Voters.

Calzone said...

Whoa...goths don't crap on peoples faces....those are mormons.

Lee Ann said...

I have nothing Jiggs....so, Hi!

Malicia said...

You know what I found?? A dating page for PhD wannabes. The only problem is it's all guys.

jiggs said...

tumbleweed: I'm already a member of the LWV and I love potlucks.

calzone: Let me be your mormon.

lee ann: I've got plenty of nuthin; But nuthin is plenty for me!

Malicia: I've got to see this. and make fun of it.

slappy said...

Hey Jiggs, your mom called...

slappy said...

SHE SAID YOU SUCK!

slappy said...

Wait, Jiggs, are we still at war with each other? I can't remember.

This is the kind of thing that makes our readers suspect that I am just a figment of your imagination.

I'm not. I'm real.

Booty J Patrol said...

Jiggs, stop pretending to be slappy.

Wordver: tagpi. I like the idea of tagging the ratio of a circle's diamater to its perimeter.

Monkey said...

Oh my! I thought I had found my soulmate, but then she revealed she only wanted to date me for my brains. To eat them...

Slappy is a figment of Jiggs' imagination? I'm shattered! I thought of Slappy while in Boston this weekend. I thought to myself... I wonder if Calzone is partying with Jiggs?

I was wrong...

jiggs said...

Slappy: You are so a figment of my imagination... Aren't you?

Bootay: I'm really not sure if I am or not.

Monkey: MONKEY! Who's trying to eat your brains?

Calzone and I just exchanged phone calls.

Monkey said...

You and Calzone on the phone? Oh! Now you're trying to confuse me aren't you? You wiley one. Do NOT confuse the monkey! It's not nice.

Yes, the woman was called Malifacent. I should have known better. My heart is broken. Monkey brain fondue indeed!

jiggs said...

Monkey: We DID talk on the phone. Calzone was all like "hey poon" and I was all like "hey dickwad, sup?" and he was all like, "I wanna have sex with your earhole" and I was all like "I have a small penis" and then he was all like "that don't matter to a pimp" and I was all like...

Well that went on for a couple of hours.

Monkey, have I ever told you policy on fondue? fon-don't.

that's right, I went there.

Monkey said...

And I love you all the more for going there my absurd Mud Brother.

Well... you and Calzone. Hmmm....

I guess that explains the goo I found on the phone when we returned to our room last night.

jiggs said...

Monkey: I have a whole line of jokes with that theme. Consider:

Mountain Dew?
More like Mountain Don't!

Citizen Kane?
More like Xanadon't!

Want some wine?
Caber-nay!

...

I was all like "Calzone, you're a douche" and he was all like "You walk it like you talk it" and I was all like "SUCK IT!" and then he was all like "where are your shoes?" and I was all like ...

Calzone said...

Dude that was you?? When I was like "Whoa you a dude??" You were all "no way dog, I'm a betty and I'm all horny and shit."

The bad part is now you have to fuck me.

Malicia said...

Everything is so literal on this blog.

jiggs said...

calzone: if it has to happen, then it has to happen.

malicia: Your humor is too subtle for me.

Nick said...

This is the best thread of comments ever.

Tumbleweed said...

I agree, these are laugh out loud comments and I am getting busted at work. I love you guys!

jiggs said...

tumbleweed: thanks yo!