Sunday, December 18, 2005

Cock and Ball University

I don't know if you all know this, but we set up an anonymous comment box a few weeks ago on the blog and we finally got some comments. Unfortunately, they were less than glowing:

Comment: I don't feel comfortable commenting on this blog because I feel like I need a PhD to do so.

Admittedly, the jiggsblog staff would like the blog better if everyone that commented had a PhD. Commenters that have PhDs make dick jokes that are vastly more subtle, with layer upon layer of meaning that even the most jaded dick joke enthusiast could appreciate for months. PhDs make dick jokes about Foucault and a 15 pound bowling ball. PhDs make dick jokes about Ayn Rand and the band Rush. In short, PhDs rock the dick jokes.

Those without PhD's make dick jokes that are trivial and usually completely derivative. Consider the following embarrassing dick joke: "Oh look at me, I got a small dick! My dick dresses up like Batman. I need attention!!!". Dick jokes like that are completely bush league and not tolerated around here.

Comment: This blog is a haven for intellectuals all trying to impress each other with their wit.
I believe it was Camus that said "An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself." Consider that, dickosaurus rex.

This concludes our comment time.

31 comments:

Calzone said...

I was wondering when this was going to happen. Nick gets the same type of complaint on his blog. It sounds like the writer of this comment disagress with Watson and his fellow behaviorists.

The part that bothers me the most is that to my knowledge you have never pointed out how ignorant most of your commenters are.

I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said "Genius is born, not paid."

Calzone said...

disagrees...I can spell. I'm not stupid.

jiggs said...

Calzone: I hear that, yo. You're a fucking genius for a stuffed dragon. Your stuffed dragon IQ is probably off the charts.

It is ironic actually that I get labeled an intellectual because I go out of my way to not be one. I consider myself to be an anti-intellectual if anything. Of course, saying something like that is damning, but one thing that we can all agree on is that there is nothing funnier than shit.

jiggs said...

Also I don't think that most of my commenters are ignorant. Actually, I don't think any of them are. Except for Slappy. That guys a real dumbass.

Calzone said...

dude...I thought we were playing the intellectual game.

I was all excited and going to get monkey and everything.

jiggs said...

sorry calzone. I'm just not very good at the intellectual game. Plus I'm hungry and I'm going to popeye's with Tasty so we can get a bucket of fried chicken.

jiggs said...

Was it Kierkegard or Dick Van Patten that said "If you label me, you negate me." Think that one through while I'm off getting biscuits.

Charles (Jiggs' Member) said...

I think ALL dick jokes are bush league. Especially talking about how you have a small penis. If anybody laughs at that, they're the worst kind of human being.

Monkey said...

Oh it was completely Dick Van Patten. And Martha Stewart said it too, but she was talking about branding and cattle prods so she's not very germane to this topic. Although the idea of Martha Stewart wearing a cock and balls on her ankle mades my hoo-hah tingle.

But then, wasn't it Plato who said, "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." ? Or was that Mike Tyson?

slappy said...

Hey Jiggs: Your face... is a dumbass.

Yeah, that's right. I went there.

miss kendra said...

it was me.

i had to say something.

Monkey said...

Miss Kendra! Are you one of those freaks that runs down to the police station to confess to crimes you didn't commit? I love you.

Lee Ann said...

Hmmm....Dick once said....Narrow-mindedness is the reason for the ignorant to CONTINUE to stay ignorant, and it is generally a high dose of EGO that perpetuates it.

Jiggs, did you enjoy your fried chicken?

Charles (Jiggs' Member) said...

I had four pieces of fried chicken and two biscuits and half a tub of mashed potatoes. God bless popeyes!

Monkey said...

Oh I LOVE mashed potatoes. I can't describe how much. I want to roll in them. But chunky mashed potatoes are the best.

jiggs said...

My penis for some reason thought that it was the one that ate the chicken. Silly little penis!

Monkey: I think a lot of people confuse plato and mike tyson. A lot of people confuse my penis with Iron Mike.

Slappy: Your face is a shitty comeback!

ms K: meeeoooow!

monkey: Did I tell you that I threw that feces? I also ate your mashed potatoes.

Lee Ann: I love dick.

Brookelina said...

I'm just here for the food.

And the penis jokes.

Spinning Girl said...

I can't understand a word in that post.

Ɯbermilf said...

Oh, my dearest Jiggsy, your dick-laden blog is an oasis in the dickless desert of blogdom.

I come here to show off how incredibly witty I am. Because I revel in my wittiness.

But then, I'm a bitch.

Tumbleweed said...

Me is so much more dumber than ya'll, but me is witty as fuck!

I'm a stalker, it's what I do, you can't get rid of me, PhD or no!

Glenn Hopper said...

It's obvious that you're not getting your PhD in English. If you were, this comment:

I believe it was Camus that said "An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself." Consider that, dickosaurus rex.

Would have started:

I believe it was Camus WHO said ...

Don't you intellectuals like to argue about verbiage and semantics and grammar and the like?

or is it all

"Defining Restoration

Box, T. W. 1978. The significance and responsibility of rehabilitating drastically disturbed land. Pages 1-10 in F. W. Shaller and P. Sutton, eds. Reclamation of drastically disturbed lands. American Society for Agronomy, Madison, WI.

Brown, S. and A. E. Lugo. 1994. Rehabilitation of tropical lands: a key to sustaining development. Restoration Ecology 2: 97-111.

Cairns, J., Jr. 1986. Restoration, reclamation and regeneration of degraded or destroyed ecosystems. Pages 465-484 in M. E. Soule, ed. Conservation biology. Sinauer Associates, Sunderland, MA.

Jackson, L. L., N. Lopouhkine, and D. Hillyard. 1995. Ecological restoration: a definition and comments. Restoration Ecology 3: 71-75.

Jordan, W. R., III. 1988. Restoration ecology: a synthetic approach to ecological research. Pages 13-21 in J. Cairns, Jr., ed. Rehabilitating damaged ecosystems, I. CRC Press, Boca Raton, FL."

With you people?

Glenn Hopper said...

To me, there is little more disgusting than picturing Jiggs' cock eating chicken and biscuits.

Please delete that comment.

Lee Ann said...

I used to live in Boca Raton, FL!

Nick said...

Referring to dick jokes as "bush league" is , maybe, the fnniest thing ever. Like, in the world.

WV = kfreds

jiggs said...

brooke: There's food here?!?!

SG: I just reread what I said, and neither can I.

milf: you're not a bitch. You're a bizitch. That's what the kids are saying these days.

tumbleweed: nor would we ever want to get rid of you, tumbling tumbleweed.

"glenn": Actually, I don't think of Camus as a person, but rather a concept. That's why I have this tendency to refer to it with "it".

Also, your references don't seem to be very recent. Hasn't there been any groundbreaking eco work in the last decade?

Lee Ann: Did you live in Boca Raton in 1988? Because you and that reference could have been there at the same time!

Nick: Word to your mother!

miss more said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mrs. Kotas said...

Did I hear something about Cock and Balls? I love hors' de ovaries....

jamwall said...

I don't feel comfortable commenting on this blog because I feel like I need a PhD to do so.\

jamwall said...

This blog is a haven for intellectuals all trying to impress each other with their wit.

jamwall said...

god i want to seductively eat a banana about now..

jiggs said...

kanorga: in addition to pre main course food, you also have no blog. That confuses me.

jamwall: It was you who complained?!? Dear sweet monkeys NO! My whole world is upside down.