Friday, December 30, 2005

Brenda, Lefty and Charles

1.
I was thinking of naming my penis "Charles". Then I can sing the Charles in Charge theme song about my tiny penis:

New boy in the neighborhood
Lives downstairs and it's understood.
He's there just to take good care of me,
Like he's one of the family.
Charles in Charge of our days and our nights,
Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights!
And I sing, I want, I want Charles in Charge of me.
Charles in Charge of our days and our nights,
Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights!
And I sing, I want, I want Charles in Charge of me


2.
a. Being your cellmate's bitch isn't funny.
b. Kevin Federline being his cellmate's bitch is hilarious.

Speaking of the KFed, go to www.kevinfederline.com for some hahas.

3. Kitten in a sandwich:

15 comments:

Fred said...

Charles in Charge of our wangs and our rights!

Lee Ann said...

I like that ~ Charles, it fits you (or him I should say). So is that your new year's resolution ~ to rename him? At least you are not naming him Princess Sofia. (Haha, that was what Kate Hudson did to Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days)!
Jiggs, is that you that is about to eat that kitten sandwich, or did you find some hot guy to take that picture?

Tumbleweed said...

Way to go, now I got another one of your damn song stuck in my head.
I am also curious if that pussy eating picture is you? If not, who is he and is he single??

Brookelina said...

Jiggs, that's not what they mean when they say "eating pussy."

slappy said...

How embarassing, I've been doing it wrong for years...

But in my defense, chicks really dig it.

word ver: zaxhjjtl, the Aztec god who married cxhtuyatl and gave birth to xtchzylz.

miss kendra said...

scott baio will be proud.

wor ver is jisyg.


they're on to you!

Übermilf said...

That's not Jiggs!

Jiggs wears black, has thick black-framed glasses, is pale and freckly, a fedora, and hangs around with a guy with a funny mustache and a beret.

slappy said...

You are correct on about 33% of that last comment.

jiggs said...

fred: I like the idea of my penis being a leader for all wangs in the free world.

lee ann: Yes, that song is apt, but no it's not me.

tumbleweed: With respect to the song, hahaha! With respect to the dude: I dunno who the guy is, but I found the pic here.

brooke: really? Ya mean I got all that cat hair stuck in my teeth for nothing!

slappy: I assume you mean that you've been incorrectly singing the "charles in charge" song.

kendra: my whole life I have wanted exactly one thing. To make scott baio proud of me. If this does it, then I can go to my grave a happy man.

uebermilf: you're close.

I have thin framed glasses.

I'm so EXTREMELY pale that I'm
jealous of albinos.

I've got freckles though I had so many more as a child.

A long time ago I did wear a fedora but it was only when I went out to clubs during that whole swing music craze a few years back. Did that happen anywhere but in San Francisco?

I have exactly one friend with a funny moustache, though he doesn't wear a beret. He's got one of those thin moustaches and a little soul patch. I also have one friend who can't grow any facial hair but a moustache. It's a little sad.

I on the other hand can't properly grow a moustache but I can grow a beard. Bodies are weird.

scott enema said...

Jiggsy - please tell us the story about when your penis saved christmas !.. does it have anything to do with santa CUMMING down the chimney ?.. has charles be involved in any other holiday events ?.. has the little guy like ever rolled easter eggs or have you held a lit 4th of july sparklers on him ? ... if not, i hope you can come up with lots of nifty ways to involved your penis during all major ( not ramadam ) holidays during 2006 ... thanking you in advance ...

Lee Ann said...

Is Jiggs, or Charles there?
I thought for a minute Uber was describing Adam and Jamie! And don't feel bad, I am pale too!

jiggs said...

billy: My penis led the sleigh on a foggy night.

lee ann: ubie was describing adam from mythbusters, but I chose to ignore it so as not to indulge her desire for me to be Adam from mythbusters.

Übermilf said...

You are Adam from Mythbusters! Indulge me, dammit, Indulge me!

Nick said...

I heart the kitten in a sandwich song.

jiggs said...

uebermilf: never!

nick: And that song loves you.