Thursday, November 17, 2005

Time Dentists!

The year is 2230. The world has been ravaged by an apocalyptic war over the world's most precious resource: flouride! The world's people are split into oral hygiene haves and oral hygiene have-nots. The mouths of millions have been overrun by cavities, gingivitis and dentures.

Then a lone scientist, himself suffering from bloody gums, invents a machine to travel back in time. His only hope for averting the horrific flouride wars is to form a ragtag team of highly trained dentists to go back in time and right the dental wrongs of the past.





TIME DENTISTS
They go back in time!
TIME DENTISTS
They fight dental crime!
TIME DENTISTS
You better floss or
they'll kill your parents!
(and thus you'll never be born!)

24 comments:

jiggs said...

Sure, the future might be filled with people afflicted by gum disease, but they also will have jetpacks!

I want me some motherfuckin jetpacks!

Fred said...

flouride shooting jetpacks? i want a fucking jetpack too. so i can burn Celine Dion with the FLAMES! see bitch! i'll melt your stinking iceberg with my jetpack! BURN BURN BURN BITCH! BITCH BURN! FUCKING BURN!

Lee Ann said...

I hate going to the dentist. It is pure torture for me!

jamwall said...

beware!

there are some angry punks motorcycling across the countryside wearing dental jackets and assless chaps.

TastyMcJ said...

In the future, we will pull out loose teeth by tying a string to the tooth, and the other end to a jetpack.

doorknobs will be phased out by 2025

Fred said...

oh, i like doorknobs

Lee Ann said...

Jiggs, I am a sleepy girl today....cold too!

TastyMcJ said...

Fred, I like doornknobs too.

I also liked 7up Gold, but that's not around anymore, either.

Lee Ann,

I'm sorry you're cold and tired. I bet if you got warm, though, you'd fall asleep. So at least that is something.

Lee Ann said...

yeah! that sounds good too:)

jiggs said...

Lee Ann, were you up late looking at your HNT comments? :)

I love the idea that jetpacks could be used to pull out teeth. I was already aware of the possibility that they could rip off an arm or a leg, but teeth! GENIUS LEVEL!!!

Personally I hate doorknobs. More like crapknobs! or maybe doorshits...

Lee Ann said...

I was up til around 1:30. I had to make a casserole for work! (I didn't get started til late). Posting off and on during that time. Now I am soooo sleepy!

jiggs said...

What kind of casserole did you make?

Ɯbermilf said...

I have a few questions and comments:

We will need flouride-shooting jetpacks to battle the monstrous mutated Cavity Creeps. Celine Dion is evil in stick form.

Also, Dilf actually encountered the assless chaps folks, but he assumed they were there for the Gay Pride parade that was going on at the time.

Finally, what is 7-Up Gold and how could I have missed something that sounds so delicious?

Melliferous Pants said...

TIME DENTISTS! I love it!

Before my grandpa passed away he met my first serious boyfriend. My first serious boyfriend was my first and last significant other with bad oral hygiene.

My grandpa was close to the end of his battle with cancer when he met my ex but he was no dummy. He was so horrified at the state of my ex's teeth he put his hands in ex's mouth and started screaming. He said something along the lines of what do you have against brushing your teeth and flossing?!! My family really knows how to make outsiders feel welcome.

I hope my grandpa comes back as a Time Denist.

TastyMcJ said...

ubermilf,

The taste of cinnamon has always been as favourable one, used in foods of all kinds, from the eponynomous rolls to cinnamon toast to applesauce. Pepsi notices the heavy use of cinnamon in popular foods, and formulated 7up Gold. 7up Gold (which although seemingly an independent brand, is controlled by Pepsi) was a soda that mixed the flavour of 7up with Cinnamon. Needless to say, the pop folded quickly, and was pulled a few months after its mid-1988 release.

It was regionally test marketed. We had it in Texas. I liked it, but I was only 7 or 8, so...

TastyMcJ said...

What I want is one of them birdsthat just hangs out in your mouth and eats the crap out of your teeth.

maybe before they come back in time, the TIME DENTISTS! will miniaturize themselves so they can clean our teeth constantly....

from the inside.

TastyMcJ said...

Shit... i just realized.....

if they're tiny...

maybe they're already inside my mouth.

Fuck!

I just blew my mind.

Booty J Patrol said...

If I could blow my mind, I'd never leave the house...

jiggs said...

Tasty: Genius level!!!

Booty: You're a fucking fortune cookie.

Ms. Pants: Your grandpa sounds awesome!

JamWall: I just fully comprehended your comments. Are you sure you weren't just watch madmax? Also, assless chaps on a motorbike?!? Talk about a case of road rash!

Melliferous Pants said...

Jiggs, he was so awesome he had a real live pet monkey that threw poop! POOP, I tell you, POOP!!! Honest, really! I should really post that story, but I'm too busy with my exclamation marks!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jiggs said...

I'm jealous of your grandpa. All mine does is sit around and complain about his gas.

Don't tell monkey about the poop throwing. He'll explode from all the excitement.

Melliferous Pants said...

Yeah, but gas is no joke!!!

Booty J Patrol said...

You mean Monkey will explode from all the excriment?

Sorry, I had to go there.

jiggs said...

Pants: Gas is certainly not a joke.

Booty: Don't stop. Don't apologize. Don't fight.