Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Things that were said today...

Colonialism is all about dutch door action.

I want a girl with a cowboy hat. And I want to do her in a barn!
-Inspired by a Just for Men commercial

You're a great person! You've got an amazing personality! And you suck cock like a pro! -The beginning of a song I'm in the process of writing

I want some MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE MILK! -Quoted from this video of a kid playing xbox online while having an argument with his mother. Just a note for watching this amusing video. The person whose point of view you have in the video is not the arguing kid, but rather the other player that is playing with arguing kid.

I wasted an hour today with google videos watching videos of chicks fighting... No really. -Inspired by my spending an hour watching videos of chicks fighting through google videos.

To Tasty: What other funny things did we say today?
Tasty:There must have been other things. We are hilarious, after all. -Conversation inspired by me trying to write this post.

30 comments:

FRITZ said...

I love The Office. It is my favoritist show ever.

Ɯbermilf said...

I can't watch the video, because my daughters are in the room, but...

If any kid, at any time, told me to get them some "Motherfucking chocolate milk" while they were playing video games, the following things would happen:

I would drag said child into the kitchen to watch while every drop of chocolate milk was poured down the sink, then

I would rip out the XBox and donate it to the children's hospital or something.

I'm not playing.

TastyMcJ said...

No kidding.

I was pointing out to Jiggs that this video clearly supports the fact that violence in videogames is the cause of all our problems....and not lack of good parenting.

Kudos to you, ubermilf.

If I had kids, and they talked to me like that... I'd probably react similarly. I'd have to fight off the urge to make them drink chocolate milk until they puked.

TastyMcJ said...

I never feel satisfied with the level of sarcasm I can convey in a blog post.

I mean about the violent video games, not making my children puke.

Lee Ann said...

You guys awake....*jiggle* *poke* *tickle*

The Husband said...

the club sandwich i had for lunch today is giving me some serious gas. thank God the girl next to me is off today.

jiggs said...

Fritz: coolio

Milferliciousness: I hear that. This just goes back to what I always say about parenting: Kids need regular beatings.

Tasty: What! You think violent videogames are the cause of all the world's problems? That seems questionable...

Tasty: Oh. Sarcasm

Lee Ann: I'm awake Lee Ann, but feel free to jiggle/tickle me at any time.

Carl: Did your club sandwich have any SPICY CLUB SAUCE!?!?!

Lee Ann said...

Carl, you have me laughing now...
Jiggs, YAY! I love *tickling..and *jiggling*, now you are in for it!

Friends of McDougal said...

Hey, look -- it's Fritz.

McDougal asked me to invite you guys all down to Tijuana with us for Thanksgiving ... if you don't already have plans.

Detail over at my blog.

jiggs said...

Lee Ann: Uh oh. What have I gotten myself into!

McD: It certainly is Fritz. Tho I might be a tad late, I never pass up a chance for meth and whores. (so yes, I'll be there at tijuana.

Melliferous Pants said...

Someone (JIGGS!) has self control issues.

jiggs said...

That's true pants. For example, I can't stop touching myself. Sure, my penis is so small that it takes me an hour just to find it, but once I do, it's a 12 hour masturbationathon!

Lee Ann said...

hehehehe, JIGGS!
*stop tickeling me for one second*
Now you are really gonna get it!

jiggs said...

Oh Sweet Monkeys, Lee Ann. Is the hammer gonna come down?

My word verification is: rxpoof

Which must mean prescription poof. Fill in your own joke.

Lee Ann said...

oh sweet jiggsey.....really? oh really? promise? *giggling*

jiggs said...

Would I lie?

Spinning Girl said...

That video made me really angry.

jiggs said...

I understand why it made you angry. But "I want some motherfucking chocolate milk" is still pretty funny. Just take it out of the context of a douchebag little kid.

FRITZ said...

That child

is the result

of motherfuckers fuckin' and then not fuckin' raisin' their damn motherfucking kids right.

Or fucking not getting beat enough.

Stupid B.

FRITZ said...

Wait, wait. What was this about meth and whores? Where?

What's with Fritz? Isn't the party ALWAYS at her crib?

Jeezus.

jiggs said...

My party is always on the Fritz.

Spinning Girl said...

OK, I am better now.I went and did another 21-gun salute and now I can talk rationally.

I was ready to walk over and unplug that machine. Although...the kid was pretty angry, I worry he may have come after me. The amount of shouting in that house was just too much.

Yeah, "I want some motherfucking chocolate milk" is pretty damn funny.

Fred said...

I want some motherfucking chocolate milk!

if i had a kid who said that to me i'd give him a high five. then a knuckle sandwich.

"its ok sonny! your teeth fall out eventually anyway, and its a much longer and painful process compared to just having them knocked out all at the same time! now fuck off and let me play games you little crap head."

i'd be a good parent.

i play violent computer games when i can find the time, mainly because its more fun that jumping around collecting coins as a fat italian. but i have to say, i think my violent tendencies were always there. computer games are just an outlet.

Monkey said...

I'm not sure why the machine wasn't unplugged and then thrown unceremoniously in the dumpster.

My human is shaking after watching that video and she's very upset that you guys called it a comedy. Now I have to go comfort her dammit it all! A monkey's work is never done.

jiggs said...

Fred: I think you and I should write about a book about parenting. The key theme: beat the child savagely.

Monkey: Tell your human that to find it funny, you have to approach from the point of view of the person playing the video game with the rotten kid.

jiggs said...

Fred: I think you and I should write about a book about parenting. The key theme: beat the child savagely.

Monkey: Tell your human that to find it funny, you have to approach from the point of view of the person playing the video game with the rotten kid.

Fred said...

i like it j-man. i've always wanted to write a book but never had enough ink. lets do it properly with a copy of word for windows.

Monkey said...

She's coming around... but I had to resort to drastic measures and wave brownies under her nose.

jiggs said...

Brownies are like smelling sauce for monkey's human.

jiggs said...

Wait. I mean smelling salts. Is smelling salt a real thing? Did I make that up? Why is my penis so small?