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It's like you go and visit your parents and end up sleeping on that shitty bed that just makes you tired the rest of the day. And you get so bored that you watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and whenever they complain about you not visiting enough you think, "stop sucking the youthful energy out of me, you desiccated bastards! Try going to see a movie or miniature golf or anything to get out of the house!"And then you get so drunk that you pass out naked on the couch and poo yourself a little and your parents are all like,
"Look at you! You're pathetic! We regret having you! And why don't you try going and getting a job for once!"and you yell back "Get off my back you old douchebags!" And then you throw your half filled bottle of Wild Turkey at them and your mother cries.
32 comments:
Jiggs ~ Is that you and your family? Nice looking family. Which one are you?
Come on now, we all know your real Thanksgiving ended with your mother giving you a sponge bath.
picturesque.
sounds like mine. got hammerred off wine causing me to devour dinner in mere minutes which was quickly followed by me staggerring up the stairs and passing out on the fouton while my little cousins threw things at me
yeah...i had a mini bender starting on wednesday night and lasting for about 3 days. thanksgiving i had some champagne, wine, beer and coffee. plenty of fluids!
my Thanksgiving was 3 days long. Wed. night with dad, thursday with mom and friday at my friend's ranch.
i have the worst food hangover in history.
I posted something very special today in TastyMcJ's honor. Stop by and have a look.
xoxo
Thanks, AP!
I haven't watched it yet, because I'm in a public computer lab at the moment.
From the description, though...I think I may have seen it already.
It is pretty hilariously bad, if it's the one I think it is.
I will check it out as ASAP.
all i know is that i've watched it 5 times b/c it makes me laugh so hard.
are they friends of yours?? j/k ;-)
No. they definitely are not.
;-)
I love the shot of the aggie ring in the first few seconds.
Kind of sets the tone. (I guess).
it sure does. the ring and his shield sunglasses. the best part is that i have some good pals that are aggies and they do the same thing with the towel while watching the games on tv.
Jiggs, I still think you should share a little of that god given talent of yours.... ;)
God I love the holidays.
Lee Ann: That's not my family. I found that picture on the internet. and what exactly do you mean by God given talent?
Pants: Everyday ends with my mother giving me a spongebath. That's how I got her to stop crying.
LVS: I hate children. Especially cousins.
Carl: Yay for the fluids that make you forget
AP: 3 days of thanksgiving might make me want to blow my brains out!
Nick: Don't we all.
That's not Jiggs' family.
They left him at the side of the road when he was 10 and he hasn't seen them since.
He learned about love in the cab of a semi.
You never cease to frighten me. I'm crying inside.
Pants, just wait. you will br frightened even more.
Jiggs....you keep bragging on your tongue....you should share!
I knew that wasn't Jiggs' family. I met his family and they look like this.
I would never throw a half-filled bottle of wild turkey at my mother.
I'd be sure to chug the last half first.
Empties make a better sound when they hit stuff, anyway.
Jiggs, While I am gone, I want you to think of a special way to show me your talents. I will be back Tuesday night.
Lee Ann: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE. SWEET MONKEYS, WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW!
Monkey: Those fine wolves only raised me until age 7. Then I moved into a human home. It was tense until they got my housetrained.
Tasty: The difference between you and I is commitment. I both respect and envy you.
Lee Ann: it's quite hard to show someone my special talents through the internet. Really things like this have to be done in person.
This is too, too true.
WHY do parents feel the need to recreate the original childhood all over again? Why do I always feel like I am thirteen when I spend the night there? And WHAT is up with that BED that drives my back crazy?
I'm so relieved it's not just me.
Fritz: It's good to know that I'm not the only one that throws half empty bottles of wild turkey at his/her parents.
My father used to throw bottles of Wild Turkey at us, his children before he went to Minnesota.
He also had sex with a blow up doll at his birthday party, but that is another story all together.
Monkey's Human
A father throwing a bottle at the kids just isn't right. Sex with a blow up doll, however, might just be perfect.
How's it going, Monkey's Human?
Life is good. Mighty fine even. Don't worry about my childhood scars. My father had terrible aim. I mean.. not for the doll, but when throwing bottles. He only threw empties though. He was a Scot through and through.
I concur. Life is good. Tasty will be happy to know that your father finished the bottles and in addition had bad aim.
My favorite part about the monkey movie today was hearing Johnny Damned laugh in the background when you realized that the boy had run off.
Johnny Damned has a wonderful laugh. You can hear it in the background of the Turkey imitation too.
My favorite part of the video is Johnny Damned's ass. I watch the video over and over just for that.
Monkey's Unhinged Human
P.S. Please give Tasty a hug for me. He's my secret crush.
Lou Reed's as well.
jiggs is thehairy one. i've seen pictures of his hairy wrists, not to mention his sack. boy that guy is hairy. not quite chuck norris league, but its impressive enough.
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