Thursday, October 27, 2005

The weekly hate

It seems that there's a lot of unfocused rage on the blog today, so I thought I'd start up a cathartic service for the blog-o-sphere: The Weekly Hate. This will allow us to vent some of our impotent rage. I'll start:

You know when people misuse the fewer/less? Fewer refers to anything you can count. Less refers to anything you can't count. Fewer raindrops, less rain. Fewer dollars, less money. Fewer asskickings, less carnage. To clarify, I don't hate the people that confuse less and fewer. I hate myself when I subconsciously correct them.

I also hate Dominik Hasek, cinnamon jellybeans, Stanford, people who jaywalk without even looking, and the H3.

21 comments:

Booty J Patrol said...

I hate people that don't know the difference between well and good, and I don't hate myself for correcting them.

The Husband said...

i'm with you on the cinnamon jelly beans. those things are nasty. how come you hate hasek? is he still playing?

jiggs said...

The H3 is totally a hummer for pussies! You must be some kind of a pussy for buying an H3. What? is the original hummer too big? Does it make you poop your pants? Even the H2 is too big for you? Put on some pantyhose and be done with it!

Fewer turds, less shit.

slappy said...

Back from the bowels of Hell, Hasek is netminding for Ottawa.

I started hating on Hasek back when he was at Buffalo. I just didn't like the whole "snow angel" approach to goaltending and felt he was overrated. Yeah, he won a lot but he always had good defensemen to clear the puck when he was laying flat on his back. Plus, that was when Miroslav Satan was with the Sabres. They had to be evil.

slappy said...

Jiggs: I almost used that example. I'm pleased I didn't now.

I can't believe the H3 - it really is just a normal SUV but with that funny shape. You might as well pay $40,000 extra for a car and have them stencil "I paid $40,000 for this car just for the hell of it. Behold my cock!" on the doors.

Melliferous Pants said...

I hate it when people say "Alls I know" and "For I can."

slappy said...

I've never heard "For I can"... what does it mean?

allison said...

I hate Rob Thomas, pleather, facial hair, Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise, people that use double negatives ie: he don't got it no more, yellow teeth and cucumbers.

Calzone said...

FUCK YOU SLAPPY!! YOU ALWAYS PRETEND YOU ARE SO GODDAMN NICE. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE...I FUCKING KNOW! "HEY I'M SLAPPY, I'M SO NICE'...FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

Calzone said...

Man I feel better..thanks for that forum slappy. You're a really nice guy.

jiggs said...

Glad you could get that out of you, Calzone. You were about to explode... all over my face.

Why did I go there? that was unnecessary!

jiggs said...

"Fewer turds, less shit" is the example that I discussed in my article on shit:

http://www.jiggscasey.com/dictionary/shit.html

slappy said...

Calzone, I like you. You make me laugh, so I'll let that go - it's just the mescaline talking. But don't push me, dragon, or I will end you.

Allison: I agree with you on the Rob Thomas one - what a douchebag!

jiggs said...

AP: why do you hate cucumbers?

Booty J Patrol said...

Monkey: I can see why you have such an interesting life -- it seems your roommate Calzone is bi-polar.

The Husband said...

monkey and calzone are roommates...now way?!?!?

Monkey said...

Yes Carl, it's true. If you knew how many times I wake up in the morning with Calzone's nasty furry ass in my face... it's more than I talk about comfortably here.

In fact, that's exactly what I hate. Waking up with Calzone's bum in my face.

Melliferous Pants said...

"For I can buy beer."

"For I can cook dinner."

"For I can buy a book on grammar."

slappy said...

That fills me with rage.

Lex said...

I hate Domenik Hasek as well, and he is the stupid goalie this year on my city's stupid hockey team.

I also hate inept people but I'm always surrounded by them.

And last but not least I actaully have one human that I HATE. HATE I tell ya, totally. Hate her so much that if a bus hit her I would laugh in her face, and she knows it. Ahahahahaha.

slappy said...

Lex, you're an Ottawa fan? Awesome.

In other hockey hate, can't stand the Rangers - one of my great joys in recent years was watching the Rangers spend $100 million and miss the playoffs.