Tuesday, October 11, 2005

New York Adventure

Took a bus down to New York to hang out with Jiggs, Brother Seamus, and Flavorson. It was decadent. Me being me, though, I found Greyhound a little unnerving.

On the way down, I was sitting in the second to last row, and once we got into the city, the driver kept slamming on the brakes at intersections. The girl sitting behind me asked if she could sit next to me because the seat next to her slid forward at that red light. Assuming she was smitten by my rakish good looks, I slid over. Turns out it was only fear that made her move, but it was justified. At the next red light the back row of seats broke free from the wall and collapsed. Took a look at the wreckage and saw that the point where the wooden seat attached to the wall had cracked sometime earlier and had been fixed with a dozen staples. So for the record, no, you cannot offer $15 one-way trips from Boston to NYC without cutting some corners.

On the way back up, I caught a Peter Pan bus, which as far as I can tell is the same goddamn thing as Greyhound except the Peter Pan buses have TV screens. So they showed a made-for-TV (and possibly Hallmark special) movie called What the Deaf Mute Heard. Really bad, despite the presence of James Earl Jones, but the point is that the movie opens with a single mother taking a bus trip down to Atlanta with her 8 year-old son. The bus makes a stop, she gets out to stretch her legs, and is immediately abducted and murdered.

I wish Peter Pan had airplanes, because I've been meaning to watch Alive. Maybe they would put it in a double feature with Airport '77.


Booty J Patrol said...

I'm just a lonley jew in california... how come I didn't know about this meeting in New York?

allison said...

they singled you out boots? that's so not right

Booty J Patrol said...

Eh, it happens all the time. I'm used to it. Not like I would have flow out to New York anyway.

She called me boots... Tee hee.

slappy said...

Now you've done it, AP. "Boots" will be blushing for a week. And tittering like a schoolgirl.

And the only reason we didn't tell him was that bus tickets from the Bay Area are too expensive. And Jiggs hates him.

That's not true, Booty. Jiggs loves you and all of your decadent ways.

allison said...

bus ticket? when i think of public transportation (specifically a bus) I think of Bill Murray in What About Bob.

just an fyi- plane tickets are really cheap these days b/c the airlines have no money. my friend got a roundtrip non-stop ticket from S.A to Chicago for $170.00.

Booty J Patrol said...

I got $366 round-trip non-stop Oakland to Boston. I leave tomorrow. :)

Jiggs and I will be crossing the country at almost the same time. We didn't want to build up a critical mass on the east coast.

Word ver: fkhfxfuc

That looks dirty, and I don't know why.

slappy said...

What a coincidence, Allison... everytime I'm on a boat I want to yell out "I'm sailing... I'm sailing!"

This is why people think I'm mildly retarded.

Monkey said...

Buses are scary. They just are.

Although here in beautiful and clean Maine, we have Concord Trailways. Clean, efficient, with seats that don't move and TV screens. Only plays G rated movies though.

aintk ~ Ain't with a frog in your throat.