Monday, October 24, 2005

My life is Office Space, again.

I don't know why, but somehow I have a knack for picking great companies that turn to shit. The first company I worked for was a software company in the Bay Area. You can read all about it here, but it suffices to say that the company grew too fast and although started out on the right path, it quickly went the wrong way. We had layoffs and all that good stuff.

Now, I work for a larger Internet company. I won't say which one, but I can pretty much be certain you've heard of it (yes, even you foreign readers). The company itself seems to be just fine, but my particular corner of the office is becoming more Office Space every day.

For example, I now have three bosses. When I screw up, I have three people bugging me about it.

I have to file a weekly report with two of the three bosses (a report with identical content but a different format, making it so I have to do it twice each week). At one point I titled it "TPS Report", but they got mad, so I stopped doing that.

It is really true that I do about 20 minutes of actual, real work each day. I do the absolute minimum necessary to keep my job, and it's not because of laziness. It's because I have more management experience than my manager, and it shows.

I have heard someone say, "Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays," and they claim they have never seen the movie (I don't buy that for one second. No one says that for real, do they?).

The best part of work was that I sat next to the HR staff, which was filled only with attractive people of both genders. It was nice to sit near attractive people, because just for a second I felt like I was not the uber-geek. Then they moved my cubicle to a different building, so I don't even get that one bright spot. I do have a window now, but it just faces the window of another building.

Did I mention that our cubes are not cubes, but actually make a honeycomb pattern on the map, to remind us that we are just drones in the hive.

At least they pay me a lot...

7 comments:

Booty J Patrol said...

And before you give me any crap about it's my fault the company has problems, let me assure you that no one gives me enough authority for that to be the case.

jiggs said...

Do they ever make you wear a bee suit?

Booty J Patrol said...

No, but that is a great fucking idea for a Hallloween costume!

Lee Ann said...

That is as sweet as honey! (I know, that was a lame attempt at a joke)...sorry!
That is what a lot of people at my office do....as little as possible. Who wouldn't if you can get away with it? Right?
No really, that stinks, when you have more knowledge than your manager.
My boyfriend's supervisor has to ask him questions about IT all of the time, she is supposedly his supervisor in the IT department. ahaha...he hates that.

Monkey said...

I want a photo of Booty in his Bee Costume. Oh yes, I do.

Booty J Patrol said...

I don't have one handy, but it looks a lot like this:

Blogger won't let me put an image in the comments, so you have to click this to see it

Fred said...

office space is probably the second greatest movie ever made.

ekkrmjnb= eek! rimjob