Wednesday, October 05, 2005

In The Blue Trunks........ AP

*ding ding ding ding ding*

So last night some girl tried to fight me over the freaking jukebox at the "hole-in-the-wall" neighborhood bar. All I have to say is that she was wearing a pink tee-shirt that said "Princess" on the front. Ummm princess of what....size 14? Don't hate me for being thin bitch.....I don't lock myself in the closet with Ding Dongs. Anyway, I had like 2 songs left so I'm going through the totally random selection when I come across Billy Idol's Vital Idol. Yesssssssss....I was so excited I immediately selected Rebel Yell and Dancing With Myself. Well, apparently I should have chosen some homo R&B tune by Babyface. Ummm it's 1:45 and the bar closes in 15 minutes ......do you think anyone wants to hear some gay ass R&B song????? NO. She made a huffing sound and gave me the worst look (the reason I say worst is b/c the lights from the jukebox were illuminating the black hairs on her upper lip). So what did I do next??

You're damn right I said: "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, EAT ME?"

30 comments:

allison said...

so i also posted this on my blog but i can't have comments, so post away.

Friends of McDougal said...

I don't even know where I am anymore.

Can I have some mescaline?

Fred said...

i dont understand! was this an acid trip you were on?

allison said...

you're ok mcdougal. take a deep breath. this is jiggsy's blog. i will stop posting here in a couple days.

Fred said...

and whats a ding dong?

btw, my word is sinly! the coolest word i ever saw.

allison said...

they're those chocolate cupcakes with the white squiggly lines of icing on top. they're damn good but will "blimpify" you in no time.

allison said...

what's mescaline? sounds like some kind of "man-deodorant" or body spray.

Monkey said...

McDougal is asking for a hit of very fine acid.

Monkey said...

And Allison... your query to the hairy woman was completely appropriate. Bravo I say. Bravo.

Calzone said...

Too true!!!!!

LMAO

Thank God its Humpday;)

Here comes the boss got to go:(

Alistair! said...

The question is Allison...what would you have done if she had taken you up on your offer and offered to drive you to a cheap motel so she could eat you?

allison said...

i would start itching the carpet.

Roadkil said...

Would that be considered a light snack you little thing?
Ha I found you.

allison said...

hey roadkil!!!! you've been gone a while. i'll stop by your blog later. :-)

Roadkil said...

Work is been filling my time. I will try and find time to post today?

allison said...

not sure yet. will let you know :)

Friends of McDougal said...

But how does Jiggs get the hotties over at his blog?

The man's a goddamn menace to society.

He's a loose cannon.

He has loose stool, loose morals, a screw loose, and (not to mention) he's a goddamn PISCES.

A PISCES, AP.

That's the sign of the devil.

Jiggs is the devil incarnate.

Is that why you're here?

Is the illuminati involved?

Or at least the Skull and Bones?

Wait a minute ... someone's at my door.

Oh. It's OK. It's just John "Long Shanks" Kerry.

I have a feeling things are going to be just fine n

Calzone said...

LMAO!!!!!

ROFL!!!!!


Thank God its Humpday;)

Booty J Patrol said...

Allison, every time you post anything to your (our our :) ) blog, your coolness points jump up. You describe the chick fight everyone wants to see -- ugly chick vs. hot chick.

allison said...

cal- you laugh a lot.....almost as much as me.

mcdougal- i am a taurus. i get along best with capricorns, cancers and libras.


word ver: dedzvch- the name of the guard that brings me my weekly loaf of bread and pail of water in this crappy Czech jail cell. No Word on whether or not my father agreed to their ransom demands

allison said...

thanks booty. i usually avoid confrontation like the plague but something about her thong sticking out of her Lane Bryant capri pants really got me going.

Calzone said...

its my new persona....

I'm gotta go I'm meeting some co -workers at Shooters for some Appletini's..LOL ;)

Booty J Patrol said...

Calzone, co-workers? Where does a dragon find work these days? Do they have to pay you minimum wage, or does that only apply to humans? This may be a huge, untapped, cheap source of labor...

allison said...

cal-your new profile pic isn't showing.

Calzone said...

Yeah are we dragons working hard or hardly workin ;) ROFL!!! Man these appletinis are good.

jiggs said...

I don't know if we've ever gotten this many comments before on jiggsblog. You're so popular!

allison said...

yes you have jiggs. btw i love the gvisit addition. i added it to my blog and couldn't believe the insane amount of people who read my blog from ALL over the world. i knew i had one in Brazil and one in Guam but thats it..(not counting my friends in India) it's freaking nuts especially since i don't really have anything important to say.



i love blogging.

jiggs said...

Blogging blogging yummy yummy taste so good down in my tummy.

I'm pleased that you're pleased AP.

The Husband said...

AP...thank god i found you.

Fred said...

mescaline? last time i checked (and i do regularly) its a narcotic. or a migrane pill. either way i got real fucked up on it a while back.