Monday, October 10, 2005

I'm not dead, douchebags

I just got back from a jazz show and I decided to see what you douchebags were doing.

You shouldn't assume that I'm dead. You know what happens when you assume, don't you? You get punched in the mouth.

I was at the motherfuckin museum of modern art today. It was very decadent and very bourgeoisie. With every painting that I saw I shouted, "They think this is as good as a Botticelli? That's fucking bullshit!"

Also Salvador Dali was a total douchebag. "Oh look at me. My name is Dali and I put bread on a mannequin's head."


Friends of McDougal said...

When you're in New York, you should do this:

Go to Times Square, take off all your clothes, then get on a Taxi.

Go to where they're filming the Today show.

Hold a sign that says, "My other penis voted for Bush."

Then punch Al Roker in the mouth.

That's what I did.

One person does it, and I'm some crazy vagrant.

But if two people do it, well ... I think you see where I'm going with this.

It's a goddamn movement.

And they'll probably let me out of prison.

Calzone said...

This doesn't sound like Jiggs..way too macho and aggressive. He's dead.

slappy said...

Jiggs, the rumors are getting out of hand. Quick, say something filled with self-loathing so the readers know you're still okay.

Friends of McDougal said...

The good that men do is oft interred with their bones.

Can I have Jiggs' bones?

I'm making some things at my house, and I need them.

Monkey said...

Someone posing as Jiggs commented on my blog today. Either that or Jiggs has risen from the dead, alleluia! Alleluia! Jiggs has risen.

jiggs said...

Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane!

I was on PCP yesterday. That's why I was more aggressive.

And McDougal: You're not in prison for the nudity. You're in prison because you stole all that tuna.