Monday, October 31, 2005

I was just re-reading my last two posts...

And I realized that it came off as though I don't like children. Don't get me wrong, I love children and plan to have some of my own one day. It's just that my girlfriend is a teacher, and I've come to realize that most parents rely on everyone else to take care of their children, and that bugs me.


jiggs said...

I don't care for children, myself, with their whining and complaining and their LAAAAAAADEEEEEEEY!

Aliecat said...

Kids are OK as long as they're someone else's.

jiggs said...

Sometimes my nephews come over and they're always bugging me about how they're "hungry" and "thirsty" and "tired".

Of course I yell at them until they go back into the attic.

Spinning Girl said...

Yeah, "It takes a village"?!?!?

The villagers are fuckin' tired, OK? raise your own damn kids!!!

Monkey said...

Oh my. Well, I have to stand up for the woman and myself here. We spend much time with the boy. In fact, in our culture, we are told we spend too much time with the boy. We've been told that we will turn him into a "mama's boy".

We also entertain half the neighborhood children here at the Monkey House. (They love me.)

So... my feelings are "you can't win for losing".

And yes, I agree with all said here. The Villagers are tired!!

jiggs said...

Monkey, there's nothing wrong with being a mama's boy as long as the mama's boy turns into a mama's man.

I was a mama's boy once. When I was small I used to sit around and watch Laverne and Shirley reruns with my mom. And look how masculine I am now.

jiggs said...

In spite of my earlier post, I'll admit that children really do like me. And not just because I let them watch porn with me.

jiggs said...

One final thought: Not only are the villagers tired, but I have a feeling that the village people are tired too. I mean from all that gay sex which from what I understand is exhausting.

Booty J Patrol said...

Monkey, I want to commend you for helping teach the boy math by starting a bank for him, and all the other things you do with the boy. I just wish other people would get monekys for their kids too. :)

Monkey said...

Jiggs... you are a paragon of masculinity! Oh yes indeed. I feel comforted by your tale of Laverne and Shirley and whatnot. While the boy does not watch TV with us, the woman did introduce him to "scrapbooking" and bird watching. Thus insuring that he will be teased unmercifully in middle school.

Mr. Patrol... why thank you! How did you guess that the bank was merely a ruse to help with math? Monkey School is also a ruse. So are the games we play in the car, and the rhyming songs we make up.

Why just now I am trying to think of a word that rhymes with "douche".

Booty J Patrol said...

My ladyfriend teaches 4th grade. I recognize the 4 quarters equals 1 dollar thing. :)

And couth rhymes with douche.

Couth: Marked by or possessing a high degree of sophistication; refined

Monkey said...

Does couth rhyme with douche if you are lisping?

Fourth grade! I can't wait until I'm in fourth grade. The fourth graders are couth.

jiggs said...

I think couth would be a half-rhyme of douche, though not a full rhyme.

However that weird ball like think with rubber strings called koosh would rhyme with douche.

Also Lyndon Larouche rhymes with douche. That's oddly fitting I think.

jiggs said...

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
We're gonna do it!

Give us any chance, we'll take it.
Give us any rule, we'll break it.
We're gonna make our dreams come true.
Doin' it our way.

Nothin's gonna turn us back now,
Straight ahead and on the track now.
We're gonna make our dreams come true,
Doin' it our way.

There is nothing we won't try,
Never heard the word impossible.
This time there's no stopping us.
We're gonna do it.

On your mark, get set, and go now,
Got a dream and we just know now,
We're gonna make our dream come true.
And we'll do it our way, yes our way.
Make all our dreams come true,
And do it our way, yes our way,
Make all our dreams come true
For me and you.

Monkey said...

Oh my goodness gracious Jiggs just made me poop a little.

Here is my song:

Tom Cruise is a douche
just like that fag
Lyndon LaRouche

He hops up and down
like a demented ass-clown
Oprah loves him so
He lives on her show

He's a douche it's true
He brings nauseau to me and you.

That's what I have so far...

Monkey said...

Oooh... just in case I have offended any fags reading this, it is all in jest. All in jest.

I myself am gay, or gender neutral.

jiggs said...

Monkey, your last two posts are GENIUS LEVEL!!! I'm still giggling to myself.

If there is one person for which the term fag should be applied, Lyndon LaRouche is it. Besides, we don't mean fag as in gay but rather fag as in douchebag.

Monkey said...

Precisely. Fag isn't used for gay anymore. It's douchebags and cigarettes.

Where is Fred by the way?

jiggs said...

Where is Fred right now? Presumably in England. He's probably asleep.

Monkey said...

Oh that's right. I'm rather dim this evening. I was just thinking of the cigarette thing... and I thought of Fred.

jiggs said...

Fred certainly likes the word fag. Those Brits and they're crazy English!

Fred said...

i call em burnosticks, or the firey lollypop.

and yes, i was asleep. i had a massive halloween prank played on me, and i couldnt get to sleep all night.

Fred said...

"they're crazy english" is wrong fool, it would be "their" not "they are crazy english"

oh wait

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