Sunday, September 25, 2005

I've underestimated Calzone

Calzone doesn't have a cold, dark, empty place where his heart ought to be. He has feelings besides lust.

I've also underestimated the level of his perversion. He likes to masturbate by tennis courts. Golf courses I can understand. I could even see it on a horseshoe pitch. But tennis courts? that's disgusting!

10 comments:

Melliferous Pants said...

Calzone can't help it, he's one sexy dragon. How is it you know so much about where he masturbates? (Just curious.)

Monkey said...

Pants, I believe Mr. Cal E. Zone Esquire let that little detail slip in an earlier post here at "The House of Masturbation". (no credit card required!)

jiggs said...

If my health teacher was right, masturbation is a completely normal and healthy activity, monkey. I feel that it is my duty to promote it. Also the idea of talking about masturbation amuses me.

By the way, monokey, what do you think of the evil monkey on family guy that terrorizes Chris?

Melliferous Pants said...

My childhood cult frowned on masturbation. Good thing I worked my way out.

Fred said...

i still think i ate a pizza once called a "calzone". it was folded over in on itself, kinda like a big ball of pizza filled with cheesy goodness. mmmmmm

Calzone said...

Well really I masturbate all over town. But the tenis courts have the combination of bending, sweating, grunts and good shrubbery for cover. My favorite game for pleasuring myself is young man vs very old woman.

Fred said...

http://www.hub-uk.com/tallyrecip01/recipe0039.htm

see, i fucking told you.

allison said...

great.....its getting too dirty in here. i have nothing to add.

Fred said...

add something dirty.

Monkey said...

Jiggs ~ My favorite activity next to flinging poo is masturbating. I'm a simian for crying out loud!

Masturbation is talked about openly in our house. Ever since the boy was about 4, we've asked him, "Do you have to pee or is that just for fun?"

(This will get you on the kiddy porn searches, I have no doubt.)

The Evil Monkey is evil, he lives in a closet and he has a better wardrobe than I do. I identify more closely with Stewie.