Friday, September 09, 2005

I don't know if everyone has heard this or not

But I stole McDougal's cadillac. And in case you were wondering, I'm totally boning my girlfriend in it. You know, bumping uglies. Forget about doggie style cuz I'm doing it cadillac, cadillac, cadillac style!


Friends of McDougal said...

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. There is no record of this transaction.

I did, at one time -- several days ago -- own a Cadillac. But that has since disappeared.

I think maybe I gave it to some 'fugees from the Big Easy. I forget.

You're broken link proves only that you are a liar and a cheat, and the kind of man who might, if prompted by enough booze-fueled bravado steal a quality American vehicle manufactured by General Motors.

But since I am no longer concerned with this vehicle, you are only blowing proverbial smoke.

Also, I have some shit that belongs to you. You might remove your tube sock and check your left foot.

1, 2, 3, 4 ... OH SHIT!

Where the fuck is your pinky toe?

Oh ... and that girlfriend ...

You might try to give her a call.

I wonder why she doesn't answer her phone? Hmmm, that's odd.

Maybe you should go over there.

Oh. There she is. She's just fine.

But wait.

Where is all her body hair?

Hmmm. I wonder.

Slagothor1 said...

McDougal, you dick.

Why did you remove that link?

Friends of McDougal said...

Fuck off, Slaggy.

Stop following me around the Internet.

You're starting to creep me out.

jiggs said...

McDougal, you did me a huge favor. When it comes to body hair on my girlfriend, I prefer smooth sailing.

Also, deleting that post doesn't change the fact that I'm boning my now hairless girlfriend in your former cadillac. Right on top of that big pile of money.

And you must have forgotten, I lot my pinky toe when I was saving your life in Korea. In a morphine fueled haze, you bit it off.

I wish I could say that this is the reason I stole your cadillac, but to be honest, I'm just a douchebag.

Slagothor1 said...

I think we all know who the douchebag is here, and he's running for President.
Oh, and he's a douchebag.

jiggs said...

Thanks for backing me up on this one Slagathor.

Lee Ann said...

have fun jiggs! Will we have to start calling you "Caddyshag"? *giggle*

jiggs said...

I like Caddyschag. :)

I also like the following possibilities:

Cadillac Esca-laid
Cadillac Sexille
Cadillac El Fuckado