Sunday, September 25, 2005

Ahh Sunday...

This has been a great weekend. I haven't relaxed like this in months. And I know this is going to sound sad and extremely weak, but I was reminded again and again that my friends are so great. They are so thoughtful which is weird considering how much of a douchebag I am.

As a man I'm not supposed to have "feelings". But fuck you Calzone.

Yesterday I played bocce ball for the first time in my life. It seemed like a huge waste of time, but my goal was just that: to waste time and do the most trivial activities possible.

I also masturbated for 10 straight hours.

9 comments:

Monkey said...

Bocce Ball is sooo much fun! You masturbated for 10 hours? That's impressive for a non-siminian.

Calzone said...

Dude man,

Feelings are couth. I say I love you to just about every woman i meet, and I say nice things to men as well, especially when I'm in bars and need someone to buy me a drink.

I masturbated a lot this weekend too, not for ten hours though, the cops do sweeps every half an hour by the tennis courts.

slappy said...

Having assisted in Jiggs's tantric masturbation training (I kept the tray of orange slices filled), I feel I must provide a warning for anyone reading this blog who might attempt to masturbate for 10 straight hours. Stretching and proper hydration are essential. You don't want to have to explain to family and friends why you need Tommy John surgery even though you aren't a pitcher.

Friends of McDougal said...

What happens if you mix dolemite with Vegamite?

Friends of McDougal said...

What happens if you mix dolemite with Vegamite?

Friends of McDougal said...

What happens if you mix dolemite with Vegamite?

Friends of McDougal said...

Seriously. I'm gonna need to know pretty quickly.

jiggs said...

Yo MC dougal:What happens when you mix dolemite with vegamite?

My Word verification: Mr Qoo

Isn't that the name of a rapper?

jiggs said...

Tommy John surgery? Is that surgery for a groin pull?

But yes, tantric masturbation doesn't come easy (pun intended).

You need to train in India for 18 months before you can begin to approach 5 straight hours.