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Miss Teen USA was watched in prisons all over the country tonight. Because it's the biggest night of television for perverts everywhere, I was on location covering it for "Modern Pervert" magazine.
Seeing the 51 teenage beauty queens made me appreciate the whole paradise of 70 virgins thing.
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So you're suggesting we get another 20 or so states? Or maybe a set of wildcard entries, like Miss Mall of America and Miss Jersey Shore?
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