Thursday, July 28, 2005

The superiority of Otter Pops

I'd just like to clear the air surrounding my love of otter pops.

Normally, i'd be eating fla·vor·ice, since it's usually cheaper, but, on the most recent of occasions, I found a box of 200 Otter Pops at Costco for like, 6 bucks.

I probably hadn't had Otter Pops in 10 years at this point, becuase, as I've said, I'm a cheap bastard.

Anyway, I thought it was universally recognized that Otter Pops are far superior to any of the other freeze-them-yourselves-and-then-eat-them-out-of-their-
clear-plastic-sheath-tubes-ice-pop-confections

But, lo and behold, I found out last month that some people (due to regional differences) didn't even know what otter pops were.

What the hell kind of childhood did they have, I ask you?

A shitty one.

Growing up in Colorado, I used to eat these things whenever I could. The cartoonish little Otters were adorable, and this was back in the day when nobody thought anything was 'bad for you' nutritionally, so, you know, it was win-win. Alexander the Grape was and still is my favorite:





At any rate, Having recently made the swtich back to Otter Pops from the lesser fla·vor·ice, I can say that they indeed taste much better (i.e. than anything else out there), and, even though they've taken the lazy way out by printing little pics of 3 of the otters per sleeve (it used to be one big otter per pop), I still laugh to myself every time I eat a punny Alexander the Grape (that shit's hilarious, yo), or Sir Isaac Lime (which makes no sense).

So, is 8 a day too many? Hell no. It's barely enough...but my mouth gets cold and I start to get a tummy-ache after 9 or so.

I thought the fellows (and fell-ettes) at RedYak.com
were going to back me up on this all the way, but they fucked it up right at the end, when they too got lazy.

Their site is somewhat amusing, though.

As a side note, although Fla·vor·ice and Otter Pops are both owned by the Jel Sert Corporation, that wasn't always so. Otter Pops were their own thing 'til they got bought out in 1996, while Jel Sert has made Fla·vor·ice (and Pop·ice) since the 1960s.

4 comments:

jiggs said...

Here's my take on Sir Isaac Lime:

1. Sir Isaac Newton was English.
2. English people are referred to as Limeys.
3. The "I" in Isaac rhymes with the "I" in lime.
4. Nostradamus predicted the Holocaust.

All this adds up to "Sir Isaac Lime" making painful, nearly obvious sense.

TastyMcJ said...

Actually, I just had that same revelation 15 minutes ago while I was taking a dump.

jiggs said...

By that you mean that you realized that nostradamus predicted the Holocaust 15 minutes ago while taking a dump? I usually think about bass fishing when I'm on the can.

TastyMcJ said...

Nah, I was all up on Nostradamus prior to entering the stall. As far as Isaac Lime goes, though...my whole train of thought was:

Lime doesn't rhyme with Newton....Sir....Those British and their Knights...Limeys. Oh. Wait. I get it.